Lawrence W. Lee

Book Excerpt -- Living With An Impostor

"The call of a mourning dove is all it takes. Heard through closed windows, but as though in the next room, plaintive, chained to memories thought safely buried, it transports my mind instantly to other places and times. Alone. Morning. Mourning. The scent of Spring in the desert trails behind, also unbidden. Memories of a youth spent with awkward care but now seemingly squandered, seep into me. My memories ride the song but then linger and shunt to other moments passed. The scent fades. The song is consumed by other chirps and clicks and whirs and moves away until lost to another day.

But I am caught. My mind rises to the crest of each memory as it flows within me, and then surfs along until the current weakens or fades or crashes into a submerged reef, and then I am swept back out to sea by an incessant flow of jumbled thoughts, only to be caught up again by another wave, powerless.

Most books of this sort follow the convention of beginning at the beginning. But perhaps because I often feel that my life is disjointed and plotless, or because I still cannot put the pieces of my life together in a meaningful sequence, or cannot construe the sequence they do form, I am forced to ignore convention. Blame the mourning dove. So I begin today, just a few months prior to my 60th birthday, a day I considered for some time to be D-Day: Death Day.

I’m not so sure now.

The life I was living was almost more than I could bear, full of fear and failure and depression. Fear and failure are still present, but the worst of it all, the depression that dogged me for over 40 years, has finally been put away, locked in a box in my brain, over which I now stand guard, doing all in my power keep it from being opened by any thing or thought or person. I spent decades fighting that demon, and I refuse to let it loose within me again."

5.0 out of 5 stars
Lawrence Lee Living With an Impostor Review, March 11, 2008
By Theresa Hurley "Terry Hurley" (USA) (REAL NAME)

Lawrence Lee's book Living With an Imposter: A Confluence of Art, Depression and Dementia held me spellbound throughout the entire book. Mr. Lee's account of his battle with depression and his coping with his wife's loss of self was truly a riveting read. Knowing the heartbreak of Alzheimer's first hand, as a caregiver for my father as he slipped into a different world, Mr. Lee's book touched all of my emotions. I highly recommend this book, especially if you or someone you love suffers from depression or dementia of any type.

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Compelling, March 10, 2008
By Kristina N. Fountain "kfount500" (REAL NAME)

My grandmother recently died of Alzheimer 's Disease, so the dementia element presented in this book is particularly emotional. But the other parts of the book are just as intriguing, especially his descent into depression. As far as his art career, at the beginning of the book he thinks it contributed to an "unfettered life." But the art was the very thing that helped provide an emotional release as the author was dealing with all of his problems.


4.0 out of 5 stars Compelling and Real , March 10, 2008
By L. Bryan (Ft. Myers, Florida (REAL NAME)

Lawerence Lee has created a unique format by taking real time, and past thoughts and placed them in a format that really shows the depth of character and the fight one experiences with Depression and Dementia. Having suffered depression myself for a good portion of my life and having lost a loved one to Dementia I was acutely aware of the trials written in this book. It gave a reassuring sense of peace that comes with relating to someone else who has experienced the same. The book is written in such a way to make it easy to relate. Definitely a worth while read for anyone who is suffering, has suffered or is involved with either dementia and depression. A real look inside.


4.0 out of 5 stars Really makes you think, March 10, 2008
By Cheryl H.

There were so many aspects of this book that I was connected with. With each word that Lawrence wrote you could feel an emotion. The reader certainly gets the feeling of almost a relationship with Lawrence because he shares so much. At first I was not going to read the book because it isn't the type of book that I would generally read but something drew me to it and I am so glad that I read it. Make it a point to read this book, you will be glad that you did.

5.0 out of 5 stars Life in the Raw!, March 10, 2008
By Juliel Boehlke "julz49221" (Adrian, MI) (REAL NAME)

Lawrence Lee is Magnificent! He takes pure raw human emotion and his own life experiences and turns them into soulful and heartfelt meaning. Go with Lee first hand on a journey with his wife through sorrows, struggles and triumph! This book is a must read if you or a loved one has ever struggled with a neurological disease, Dementia, Depression or Alzheimer's. Well written!


5.0 out of 5 stars Depression and Dementia, A Harsh Mix, March 9, 2008
By Lionpro "Deborah" (Florida)

I must say that Lawrence W. Lee poured his heart and soul into this book. Living With an Imposter: A Confluence of Art, Depression and Dementia truly made me believe that I could fight my depression and gain strength to deal with the medical ailments my husband is facing.

Lee came out of his depressed venue so that he could deal with and anticipate the needs his dementia-suffering wife would be facing. Depression is tough on its own but when mixed with another medical illness it can either beat you down or make you stronger.

I loved this book. I feel closeness towards Lee and feel his pain and his astonishing strength to overcome his depression. I have recommended this read to my daughter who has been struggling with bi-polar. I believe she will also find strength from this author.


5.0 out of 5 stars Living with Depression, Caring for Alzheimers..., March 9, 2008
By Jenn Thomas "Eclectic freak" (DFW Area, TX, USA)(REAL NAME)

Lawrence W. Lee has written a deeply touching, heartrending, and sometimes disturbing book about his personal experiences dealing with his own lifelong chronic depression and caring for his Alzheimer's stricken wife.

How he managed to cope between these two terrible illnesses, the strength he found within himself to overcome depression's hold on his life, and his thoughts along his journey are powerful things to read about.

My copy of this book is now in the hands of my chronically depressed husband. Perhaps he will find it to be as compelling a read as I did.. it's my hope that he will also find a pathway through his own depression, perhaps through following in Mr. Lee's footsteps.


5.0 out of 5 stars
My thanks to the author!, March 9, 2008
By Shawneepaints (Texarkana, TX) -

Living with an Impostor should appeal to anyone who has ever struggled or is now struggling with depression. It hits the nail on the head about the inner struggles, especially the observation about depression being like a dormant spore.
Although the relationships were at first a bit confusing, the inner thoughts skipping around so much were so perfect. It was an example of the rollercoaster depression causes in life.
The accounts of Mr. Lee's wife's dementia were so sad and the effects on him were touching. This gripped the reader in the heart.
Lawrence Lee showed great courage to publish such a personal journey, stating that which many who suffer are scared to share. My thanks to the author for allowing us into his life, that of his wife, and his talent as an author. I am honored to own this book.

5.0 out of 5 stars
Very Touching and Emotional, March 7, 2008
By Heather Shockney (Greensboro, PA USA)(REAL NAME)

Dementia is a sickness that changes the lives of every person involved. It is so saddening to see the person you love forget who they are and who you are. Lawrence W. Lee's Living With an Impostor is an emotionally touching account of just this. He struggled with his own depression while trying to keep sane for his wife Mary. I have cared for many Dementia patients and could relate so much to the way the author felt about seeing someone he loved disappear right before his eyes. This is a must read for anyone that has ever had a loved one with Dementia. Often others forget that the Dementia effects more than just the person experiencing the illness. This book describes exactly what it can be like.

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