depression

Revelations

I’ve been in north-central Arizona for the past week or so, dog-sitting for an old and trusted friend. During this time, I have endured what seems to be a complete failure of my anti-depressant medications. I have felt hopelessness and ann inability to cope that seems to breathe its rancid breath from within my bones. My life has fallen apart as parts of me have collapsed through doorways to separate dimensions. The revelation I’ve had is that I’m now not just looking for a home, but for a place in which I belong. I know where I belong: at Mary’s side. But I am too weak. In shame, then, I look far away for a place in which I can become invisible to all those who have known me. If I look and can’t find a place of anonymous belonging, there is but one path left, and that path I will follow.